Remembering
Genevieve Leaver Barnes
GENEVIEVE LEAVER BARNES
Remarks by MARY BARNES MCKEE BECHTOL
Genevieve Leaver Barnes was born September 28, 1881, the daughter of Samuel and Mary Ann Leaver. She was the middle child in the family, the oldest being a girl, the youngest being a girl, with 3 older brothers and 3 younger brothers. . She always said that she didn't feel that she really had a sister with the older one so much older and the younger one so much younger, but that she always had a close relationship with her brothers.
When Genevieve was born she had a veil over her head. She often told about this which was like a very, very thin skin that covered her face. It was supposed to give a special power. Gypsies have this to tell fortunes. This was told in the family for a number of years. It was interesting that later in life, mama did tell fortunes and did seem to have the ability to foretell the future. It was often wondered if it was tuned in with the being born with this veil. Mama was a very dark child. Her skin was fair, but her hair was dark and her eyes were jet black and as dark as can be. It used to upset her when she was little because people would ask her if she was Jewish. Apparently that was kind of a prejudice at that time. She attended elementary school - going with her younger brother, Earl. She said that she always resented Earl because he was always getting into mischief and it was her job to keep him in line. After finishing elementary school, she went on to secondary school, Later she went to college at the University of Utah. This was really exceptional for a girl at that time. After attending for l year, she then worked for her brother-in-law Dr. Stauffeur. She was a nurse in his office as well as a receptionist. Maybe that is where Julie got her love for nursing.
She met daddy when he came to stay at the Leaver home. After 1 year of college he went on his mission. At that time a person had to be 21 years old before they were called on a mission, which lasted for 3 years. When he returned he was 24 years old. They were married the following year and they were each 25 years old.
As a child, mama was very interested in art and felt that at some time she would like to become an artist. When she became a teenager she did a good deal of painting on vases and dishes. She really had a special skill in this area. Mama was a very graceful person. She loved dancing and social activities. She told about the time her brother who did not live in Salt Lake came to visit and told her she could have a choice. He would buy her either a bicycle or a big doll. She said she knew she should ask for a doll because she was a girl, but she wanted a bicycle so badly .
Mama and daddy were married 3 years before Bonnie was born. They had just about given up all hope of having a child and you can imagine their joy at having a daughter. Apparently the birth must have been very difficult and following this mama got what was known then as milk leg. which is now phlebitis. She was down for about a year while her older sister, Mamie, took care of Bonnie. Her leg was always weak and from that time on mama always wore an elastic stocking from the toe up to the knee. Imagine putting an elastic stocking on every day. This greatly limited her in physical activity. She couldn't dance. She couldn't walk any great distance and there was a general physical weakness.
Then I was born 3 1/2 years later.(Mary) That seemed to be the family. We contented ourselves that there would just be the two of us, even though mama and daddy both wanted another one. There was never a child that was so wanted, so adored as Miriam when she came, eleven years later. The family of four adults just waiting for this dear little one to be born.
Mama was 25 when she was married. She was married to daddy for 24 years.
She was 49 when he died. I remember when mama said 24 years later "I have been a widow for as long as I have been married to your father." She went on to live another 10 years beyond that time. The biggest portion of her life was that of a widow. Roughly it was about 1/4 of her life as a girl before she was married, l/4 of her life married, then 1/2 of her life as a widow. She was left with 3 children. Bonnie was close to 21, I was 17,and Miriam had just turned 6 when daddy died.
Mama had never worked in her life, but she undertook many different kinds of jobs to support her 3 girls. She worked in the county clerk's office. for the tax commission during a certain time of the year. She also sold cosmetics. She was very ambitious, but this was during the depression and it was a real struggle. She had the house made over so that she could take in boarders. There was always someone living there after that to help her with the expenses.
Mama was a very talented person in art., especially painting. She loved to write. She loved to read. She must have grown up during the time when young people memorized poems. She could recite all of the poems of the great writers. It gave her a great deal of pleasure in reading them. Mama was not musical. It seems strange because her mother was musical as well as both of her sisters. However, she could tell if Bonnie's violin was the least bit off tune. She wanted her daughters to be musical. She felt it was a very special talent that she did not acquire. When she was young she must have enjoyed a lot of dancing. Mama was very active in church work. She had a true testimony of the gospel. She found great joy in service in the church, particularly with the young people. She was president of the Young Women's Association for years,and was instrumental in the roadshows that won awards during the years. A dance was held at the church each week. The first ward was known for their activities which was due to a lot of mama's pushing and being responsible for them. Mama had many, many friends. It was said that her older sister had boy friends, her younger had girl friends, but mama had both boy and girl friends. She never lost her friends. As years would go by, she would still have her many friends, who were very close to her.
People in the ward and the neighborhood always looked to mama for help, for understanding, and she was always there willing and able to help them. I can honestly say that I never heard my mother nor my father say a cross word to the other. I think that's almost unbelievable, but its true. Our home did not have quarreling. It did not take place.
Mama and daddy didn't quarrel between themselves and didn't quarrel with us.
Mama's way of punishing us was to let me go and sit on the bed until I was ready to be a good girl again. or just mainly go to my room. I do not recall my mother ever raising her voice, ever screaming at me, ever calling me any names, but it was all love, and all positive. I think this is reflected. Bonnie, Miriam, and I have never had words.
When I think of families where people are quarreling, where they don't speak to each other, where they are in conflict, I think that maybe example is a lot of it. We surely had a good example in our home. Daddy could have a temper, but it was not let out on mama or on us girls. It might be someone else, but not on someone in the family.
We loved to play cards. We would sit around in the evening and play cards. Mama also liked bridge. She was interested in most social activities. She was a beautiful seamstress. As children she would make all of our clothes. She would design them and make them and they were just lovely. We were the best dressed children in the school because of the work that our mother did. When we got older we undertook to sew our clothes and she always encouraged us to do it.
I think that one of the joys that we had was the fact that mama always remained mentally alert, creative, so interested in many things to the age of 83 There was no diminishing of activity that was mental or enjoyment of friends. She would always read the paper, watch TV, and could always tell us of everything that was going on. She always had an intense interest in church activities. About the last 10 years, she failed physically. This was difficult when she was not able to go to church as she was used to doing. She spent much of her time in bed. Yet whenever you saw her you always felt that she was so glad to see you, that this was a very special thing that you were doing, and that in no way were you obligated to come to see her. It was just a joy to go to see her. All of her friends felt the same way about her. Mama didn't complain. She always said that she would live as long as she wanted. The time came and she said "OK I have lived long enough." She thought she would die immediately. We did too. It went on a few months. A few months in the time of God is nothing. We felt that she was fortunate to choose some of these things that were important in her life. She was truly a beautiful person.- one that was adored and loved by many. She unselfishly gave of her love as well.
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Remarks by GENEVIEVE BERENICE (BONNIE) BARNES JONES
We had the best mother anyone ever had. She was understanding of our wants,and she was instrumental in helping us set goals in the things we wanted to accomplish in our lives. She allowed us to follow our interests, didn't try to influence us regarding the courses we had taken in school, or anything we wanted to do that was right. For example, when I was a little girl, I heard Melba Lindsay Burton play the violin. I said that I would love to take violin lessons from her. Mama and daddy immediately bought me a violin and I took violin lessons from Melba. Mama sewed dresses for Melba to pay for my lessons because Melba was not able to buy clothes that fit her because Melba was a midget. She was an accomplished violinist. I took lessons from her for many years.
Daddy took us on many trips. They also allowed us to go with our friends on many trips. For instance, Mary and I went to California and other places many times. Mama made us feel special and praised us often, whenever we did anything praiseworthy. The gifts that she gave to us and to the family at Christmas and birthday were chosen with much planning. She didn't buy the first thing she saw, but she would buy what we would like or we needed and she would always buy just the right thing. She taught us to be thrifty, as also did our father, which has been a help to us all our life.
She was very artistic and as Mary said she painted with water colors when she was younger. She was very aware of color combinations in home furnishings, in clothes, in food, and the colors in nature particularly.
She adjusted remarkably well after daddy's death, in spite of financial difficulties. When daddy died I was the only one working and it was during the depression. She managed and we got along until she got a few jobs herself and was able to take in boarders.
Mama was the one who introduced me to Relief Society. After Randy was born she took me to Relief Society. Before he was born I was not able to go because I was working at Hill Field and it was held during the week . She took me the first time and I went every time until I went back to work again. I particularly enjoyed going to Relief Society with my mother.
She always took her children to church. She didn't expect them to go by themselves, but she and daddy always took us to all of the meetings.
Mama needed to have an outlet for self expression. She wasn't satisfied to have a clean house, to stay at home, and work there all the time as did many women of her generation. She was the MIA or mutual president for two years. She was a beneficial influence on the youth. She composed the road- shows that were given every year. She redecorated and remodeled our home and the furnishings. She was a beautiful seamstress as Mary has said.
When Ann was a child, she saw a dress in the window of Auerbach's store which she copied and then made Ann one exactly like it. It was a very expensive dress. She was able to do that and also create her own patterns for dresses.
Mama was a very good cook. The things I can remember best are bread (white hot bread), parker house rolls which Mary and I make, pies, and cakes. For Thanksgiving we had a dinner much like the one we had tonight. In fact it tasted much like mama's dinner. She always had stuffed dates. She would make fondant like Miriam does for her cherry chocolates and stuff the dates with the fondant. Tuna fish was one of the special things that she cooked with too. She had some sea shells that she got in California. Miriam and I still have them. She creamed the tuna fish and put in sliced olives to make them look festive. It was a special dish for us. She put bread or cracker crumbs on top. We thought this was a very special treat. She also made tuna fish salad. It was made with whipping cream, walnuts, and many other ingredients.
She had a love for good books. Before she was married, while she was working for Dr. Stauffer, she purchased a set of Shakespeare's plays. She also had many scriptures and commentary of the scriptures.
I'd like to tell you now what Layne said about her. He said that she was a very good influence on the children and on the grandchildren. He remembers her helping them with their talks. Baby sitting for her was an educational experience. She always taught the children something. She didn't just give them something to play with and leave them while she did something else. She never spanked a child in her life,- her children or her grandchildren. When the grandchildren didn't do what they should, she would have them sit on a chair in the corner until they were good and ready to come back.
She was very open minded and she respected other's opinions.
REMARKS BY MIRIAM BARNES LAVENDER
I think that one of the things that I appreciate about mama is that she not only taught us by example but that also she gave me opportunities to do things. I remember a lady down the street who was elderly, who lived in a stone house. Her daughter, Agnace, took care of her. Every so often mama would make candy. She would send me down to give it to Agnace for Agnace's mother. who would always say "Sweet, Sweet" because that is what she would like to eat. Mama was thoughtful and liked to serve, but she always gave me the opportunity to deliver it so that I could have the satisfaction and see the importance of that. I think I have grown up with recognizing the joy of serving.
As has been said, she was very artistic. She enjoyed painting. She was interested in colors. In her later years, I remember she remodeled her home and put up wallpaper and painted many things. She enjoyed doing all those things. I was especially interested in her poetry. Whether she wrote the poems for me or not I always felt that she did. I remember one when I was a little girl.
Children wake at break of day
Full of vim and vigor
Shame that we can't bottle it
And save till they grow bigger.
Before I went to St. Louis for my dietetic internship, mama wrote a verse for me.
You are my mirror daughter dear
May you have light to see
That every act and deed you do
Reflects on me.
There are many others that she has written also. She always encouraged us with education and she told me when I was a little girl that daddy wanted me to have an education. She said that daddy would be watching me from heaven and that he wanted me to have an education and so she really encourage me to get it. I remember I didn't know just what field to major in, but mama had a friend who was a dietitian. As we talked about it, I thought this might be a good field and that is why I went into dietetics.
Mama had a testimony of the gospel. She went to church with us. I remember when she taught in Relief Society, the Cultural Refinement lesson. I remember her preparing the lessons at home, in praying to the Lord to help her in the preparation, and in the presentation of each lesson. I also remember that she drew and painted individual for everyone at the Relief Society luncheons. She did this for many years. Each placecard was artistic and original.
When Matt and I were married, mama made a card that we gave to each one who attended our wedding reception. On it she wrote in her beautiful penmanship:
When all the excitement is over
And we're just plain Mr. and Mrs.
We'll think of you friends who came tonight
To give us your very best wishes.
She painted violets on each card with this verse.
In later years mama enjoyed reading and also writing. This was a source of stimulation to her intellectually.
Mama took an interest in things of the world, in her family, and especially in each of her daughters. As a young girl she started me on a collection of little toy dogs. Aunt Norma wrote to us from various part of the world and I collected post cards from her travels. Mama also encouraged me to collect the little cartoon on the editorial page of the newspaper. She was interested and encouraged me to be interested in things of the world.
As mama's physical strength weakened, she relied more on her spiritual and mental abilities. She never complained, but took delight in enjoying things of the family and things of the world and keeping up to date on what was going on about her. I remember when Ken died and the poem she for Mary which we copied on the thank you notes:
Every cloud has a silver lining
Each dark day a ray of light.
How can we know how many love us
(or how can we know what strength's within us)
If we never see the night?
Remarks by GEORGE STANLEY LAVENDER - grandson
I had two grandmothers. One of them I didn't know, so she is the only grandmother that I knew. I learned to love, appreciate, and respect her. As I look back upon the things she taught me in my life, she was a person who never said an unkind thing about anybody. She was caring and loving for other people. She was also a person for which education was very important. When I was little attending school, I came home with my weekly reader. She had me read it to her so that I could practice my reading. She also had me practice the different skills that were in there about the different countries She was very knowledgeable about countries and about the world. I remember one time I had something I had to do on a country. I picked Russia. Since she was an artist, she helped me draw the face of the head of Russia who was Nikita Khrushchev at that time. When I took it to school I got an outstanding grade on it because there was such good work and detail on it. She instilled in me the importance of art. She also helped me with speaking.
I remember when I had to give talks in church that I would be able to give talks without reading them. Children like to read their talks, but from a young age I was able to give talks from memory. I think that has helped me today even in my work and in church work.
She also instilled in me the importance of the gospel and a desire to go on a mission. I had a desire to go on a mission because of the example she set and the example of prayer.
As was said she was very talented in art. I got a tablet one time from school. She helped me draw different birds because she liked to draw nature scenes. She also helped me to draw trees. I remember when I went to junior high school I was the only one in my class who could draw a tree with the leaves off. Many people could draw a tree with the leaves on, but I could draw trees in the winter time with only the branches.
I remember when I was four years old and I woke up in the mourning and my parents weren't there . Nana was there and she told me that I had a little sister. Also the first day of first grade, she watched me and I had another little sister.
I remember the last year when she was really sick and I was in the seventh grade. I used to come home every day after school and talk to her about what I had done in school. I think that talking to her about school really helped me in recognizing the value of education and doing good in school She was always concerned about doing your very best. She was a great help.
